Well here we are at the hotel and have been to the ward . Rather disturbing as lots of old people looking extremely sick - really hit home how mammoth it all is. Think both of us wanted to hightail it out of there . So got to  be there at 10 for MRI , big girl pants back on in the morning .All still feels quite dreamlike ( nightmare ) and unreal , in the car we were talking about how insane this is , to get a rare aggressive cancer that's already taken root in so many places , how there really is no positive spin to put on it as it truly is as bad as can be
Ordinarily being in a hotel just us would be so exciting , whilst it's certainly nicer than being on a ward both struggling to enjoy it . Desperately missing my babies, think will eat as no breakfast allowed tomorrow then head back in sand tonight