Yet again we are truly humbled by how amazing people can be. The footie forum Chris goes on asked what is on my bucket list and decided to raise the money for us to take the kids to Disney

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/hopkins-euro-disney

I can’t wait to see their faces when we tell them !!

It’s been a while but that’s because I’ve spent a fair bit of time in hospital . Firstly in June I got an infection , then was admitted with pain and vomiting which led to a scan and the discovery that Delores has spread further across my omentum . So no more centuximab ( a first line treatment ) as it was no longer working . Delores didn’t spread due to a few weeks between chemo sessions , she spread because she is a devious evil bitch and was always going to find a way round the chemo .
 Last week I tried a new type  of chemo and ended up extremely ill and yep for the fourth time in 2 months back in hospital .
So .... today we saw the oncologist . Doc said can't do anything to make this chemo any easier on me , it was the lowest dose and with all the anti sickness there is he completely understands our decision to stop chemo now and try to enjoy life, as the side effects are too much. The best we could hope for was a shrinkage , there has never been a possibility of a cure  He and the nurse said after everything I’ve  been through  I couldn’t have tried any harder .Obviously aware that I  can still be hospitalized from disease pain and side effects etc but that's the lesser of two evils as far as we are concerned. Last week was the straw that broke the camel's back, and I can't put the kids , Chris or me through that over and over again . So now the plan is to enjoy however long I have left with my family and friends . I’m still the incredibly stubborn and unpredictable me . Thank you for all the love you show us , especially Chris , all those things that don’t seem huge are huge to us - be that phone calls , looking after the kids , hugs , it all helps

Love

Tracy and Chris xx

Nothing like spring and the signs of new life to get you thinking . Had a lovely walk on the beach but can barely move now and I guess the increased pain has got me thinking about what is going on in there . Whilst I didn’t have many symptoms of Delores I’ve been largely getting on with things but as the pains been getting worse I’ve been forced to face it . I had a scan onThursday and now we wait for the results . Daft worrying really as I can’t change the outcome - if Delores has spread the only option is still chemo .  Also at the end of August it will be a year since my diagnosis which reminds me the prognosis was 12-18 months. Anyway enough doom and gloom , time for more morphine and hanging out with my family

It’s been a while

yikes it’s actually 3 months since my last update . Sooo I guess in brief I had my second chemo at the start of January - which made me incredibly  poorly again so resulted in 5 days in hospital . Third time lucky and 4th due to taking all the anti sickness meds going . 5th and 6th  not so good due to the addition of centuximab which irritates my stoma , gives me acne , a sore tongue and basically makes me feel incredibly poorly and miserable  . After 3 goes at it we’ve decided to stop the centuximab as the negatives outweigh the positives , it’s not a guaranteed cure and it’s more important I can spend quality time with my family enjoying life . Will carry on with the other chemo still
I also had a scan which showed the  main Delores is slightly thicker and the other parts showed no change and no new sites which is positive  . The scan also showed blood clots in my lungs , apparently it’s very common in cancer patients and people undergoing chemo so I now have to inject my tummy every day to break them up and prevent more ( clearly my body thought Delores wasn’t enough to be going on with )
We are having our ups and downs, I get very angry with all the things Delores stops me/us doing . I’m incredibly lucky to have such an amazing husband who literally deals with my crap inside and out , keeeps us all going and our children , well we couldn’t be prouder of how well they take all this disruption
That’s it for now , at the moment I’m sick to the back teeth of cancer- it’s on the tv , in the high street , the appointments fill my diary I can never get away from it